My friend Mike recently stopped by for a cup of coffee the other day and showed me pictures of his first love and current wife – a whirlwind of a relationship that happened by a chance encounter early one Saturday morning. Mike is somewhat of a relationship junkie, a guy who has actually figured out how to make a marriage great. He said something that really struck me.
“I text her several times every day,” he said, voice emotional.
“I love you.”
“You are beautiful.”
“I’m so grateful,” he told me, “to have a new partner in my life. I feel that every day. It isn’t hard for me to find reasons that I love her, or that I find her beautiful. I’m just so grateful to have her in my life.”
Wow, when is the last time you heard a husband talk about his wife in this way? It is amazing. In a similar vein, another friend of mine told me about his gratitude for his wife. He told me, “I have a great marriage,” but how can this be?
For years, Mike had a very unique way of cultivating specific checks of gratitude for his wife (even though at one point they almost separated).
How did Mike Save his Marriage?
Gratitude Meditations help and working with a psychic healer and spirtual guidance coach will help you get started in saving your marriage.
When Lee started working with me, I had him do a gratitude meditation on his wife every night before bed and he would think about all the things he appreciated and loved about her.
, I want to bring in some science to explain why these gratitude practices are so critical to Lee’s and Fred’s relationships.
Let me say that again. When we cultivate feelings of gratitude towards our lovers , we feel more satisfied with our relationship, and—amazingly—our partners feel more connected to us and more satisfied with the relationship, too. The key is not changing your partner to fit your needs, but to cultivate a daily practice of love for your partner that will help the both of you feel more connected to one another.
Research also suggests that expressing gratitude to a romantic partner (or close friend) can make us feel more satisfied with the relationship and increase our sense of responsibility for our partner’s well being. But the real takeaway, in my mind, is that simply feeling gratitude can improve our relationship.
Relationships are not always rainbows and butterflies, especially when you have daily stressors like children or even dogs. People can be annoying to live with, and very often we have vast differences in opinion about important shared issues, like how to discipline the kids.
But despite these difficulties, we want to feel loved and cherished and appreciated. Maybe, like me, you’ve felt longing for that love story.
What I’ve learned about gratitude’s role in our love stories is this: It starts within our own self. When we consciously foster feelings of appreciation for our loved ones—whether by doing a gratitude mediation about them every morning or by deliberately focusing on specific things we love about them—our relationship improves.
We feel more in love. They feel more connected. We foster those love-story feelings we crave.
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